


He fell first, but louis fell harder.

by Mia_tae



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Hurt, Larry Stylinson Is Real, M/M, Post-breakup, Sad Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:56:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27318127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mia_tae/pseuds/Mia_tae
Summary: Louis fell in love late, too late and too hard, and years later he has to still deal with the consequences and learn to put a mask on during award ceremony’s because harry can’t know, that he loved him more then anything after all.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25





	He fell first, but louis fell harder.

Louis contemplated many things, he had many regrets, some cut so deep into him it would leave him breathless and curled up in a ball at night, feeling lonely and like a failure even though he was surrounded by money, friends and family.

Everything that you need to be happy, right?

Louis almost jumped when his phone pinged, he glared down at the screen, a text lighting up the stationary car that was surrounded by flashing lights of cameras and fans.

‘He’ll be there.’

Louis felt slightly pathetic, no, he felt extremely pathetic, because what kind of man tracks events to make sure he doesn’t bump into the person who could’ve given him a happy forever, but he had shattered it into pieces in light of the cruel world and its judgmental inhabitants. 

Louis was weak, and for that he hated himself for it more, because now he was stuck so deep down this rabbit hole, there was no going back, but Louis knew that long time ago when the band had started falling apart, and all of a sudden he had a child on the way, and the trails of a relationship that used to ignite him into passionate sizzling ember scuffed to the point of there no longer being even a fade of it.

Louis shoved the phone into his suit pocket, taking a deep shaky breath, knowing tonight was going to be hard and he’ll most likely end up drinking himself into a stupor tonight, thoughts he had learnt to lock in the back of his mind running wild and carving new wounds into old ones.

Weakly but put together, Louis slid the door open and walked into the crowds of fans and paparazzi, a familiar red carpet greeting him with familiar faces littered on it, either being interviewed or in a discussion with one another, but with a deep relief Louis didn’t note him. He couldn’t see him. It was temporary, knowing Louis’ luck he would end up bumping into him once, just for life to remind him of what he could’ve had if he had been a little stronger, a little more put together and brave.

An hour whizzed by with a couple of monotone repetitive interviews, flukes of unnecessarily expensive champagne chugged down, a blunt at the back of the building and a few discussions with some old friends. Louis seemed to still have a grip on his luck as he hadn’t even caught a glance of him, even better, Louis nearly had forgotten about him and the anxiety of all of it.

“Hey mate congrats on the tour nomination.” Louis smiled gratefully, “ thank you I....” Louis’ breath hitched lightly.

There were moments like this, where Louis zoomed right out of his mind space and his mind and thoughts would zoom in to one ethereal thing that left him breathless and almost hurt. 

To Louis, all of those moments were owned by Harry, just like now.

Harry was beautiful, anyone and thier mother knew that, after all so many people crazed and thirsted after him ,but Harry wasn’t just beautiful, he was breath taking, he was enamouring, he felt like a blessing to look at, and the more Louis realised it the more he agreed he never deserved something like Harry.

He swallowed the sharp lump in his throat when from a few feet away Harry broke into one of his charming dimpled smiles. 

“Louis?”

Louis snapped out of his zoom, head dizzy and a little out of breath, he blinked rapidly, a nervous laughter trickling out of him.

“Thanks mate, just grinding and enjoying it as I go.”

Now if louis spent a good ten minutes after sauntering around and eyes on a certain person, no one said anything.

Until Louis felt drained, and a little broken after seeing Harrys loving gaze directed at someone else that wasn’t him, years had gone by, why wouldn’t harry move on? Louis was late, as always.

-

Louis breathed shakily after splashing some water around his neck, feeling over heated and exhausted. Louis winced at the haggard bags under his eyes, the makeup failing to hide them.

Louis closed his eyes, taking a deep breathe in before turning to exit only to freeze in his step at the man stood at the door in all his glory. A suit that laid on his figure perfectly. Familiar intense pair of green eyes that made his chest hurt and same soft brown curls his finger yearned to sift through. 

There was a few moments of silence before Louis cleared his throat, him and harry were civil, just like all his other bad mates, harry had no idea of his stupid inner turmoil ,Louis was good at acting.

“ Hey harry how-“

“You need to stop.” Harry cut him off, voice weak and tired.

Louis’ eyes widened, words stuck in his throat and dread filling him, thoughts ran wild in his head as he tried to figure out what he had done wrong, it seems harry had taken notice of his confusion and inner battle and decided to relieve him of it.

“Your look. Stop it.” Harry stated, eyes pleading but soft in a painful way, lips down turned, even with such sadness Harry managed to look ethereal.

“What do you mean?” Louis chuckled emptily, playing off the question, because there’s no way. There’s no way that harry knew, right?

Louis didn’t know how he’d feel. To know that HARRY KNEW HIS INNER TURMOIL AND HOW MUCH HE YEARNED FOR HIM BUT TO TURN A BLIND EYE TO IT, FOR SOME REASON THAT WOULD HURT MORE THEN HARRY DOWN RIGHT TELLING HIM TO FUCK OFF.

“That look in your eyes. As if you....” Harry looked behind him, guilt filing louis because he knew harry was doing it for him, looking out for him just like all those years management was on their asses and louis had been a coward who was adamant about having a cover up, as always harry was selfless. 

“....as if you still love me.” Harry finished sharply.

Louis breathed in sharply.

“This isn’t healthy, maybe I’m assuming. I’m probably just imagining it, right?” Harry laughed relieved. “Sorry, I was a little paranoid, your eyes just felt a little too...familiar.”

“Baby?” A male voice called out from outside. 

Louis felt his heart break when harry perked up. “Coming.” Harry called out with a joyful lilt.

“See you around, Louis.” Harry smiled warmly before leaving.

“Bye” Louis voice cracked as he whispered.

Now if, Louis went home and drank himself to a stupor as he planned but this time screaming I still love you over and over again, no one had to know.


End file.
